Theme Parks - #8
8. Body Wars, Epcot, Walt Disney World
Opened: 1989. Closed: 2007.
The second Florida theme park I visited as a child was Epcot. When I was 7, as a Christmas present to our family, my grandparents took us all to the theme park of my choice. Anyone who has been to Epcot will at this point wonder what seven year old in their right mind, given their choice of all Orlando theme parks, would choose a trip to Epcot. The basic answer is that my family tricked me into thinking it was going to be cool. Let me tell you, Epcot was talked up like a stinking trip to Europe itself. You get to visit so many countries! And explore them! Yay!
Imagine the sad disappointment of a seven year old child at the realization that Epcot is 80% walking around just looking at stuff. And when there are rides, it’s a slow boat ride through Mexico or whatever. Pft.
I went to Epcot for the second (and last) time on a field trip in the 8th grade. Both trips had the potential to be absolute and complete torture (I’m at an amusement park but there are no rides? Whut?) - BUT, lucky for me, Disney World had hidden pretty much the best ride in all the DW parks (with one exception, to be named) in Epcot: Body Wars.
Body Wars took you on a motion simulated ride through, well, a human body. While they stuck a bunch of educational stuff in there about brains, ventricles, immune systems and whatnot, let me assure you, this ride was AWESOME. Oh, and did I mention that the video you were watching during the ride was directed by Spock?
Body Wars was actually part of a larger exhibit called “The Wonders of Life” - all of which was closed down in 2007 in an evil plot to bore all children forced to spend a day of their otherwise awesome Disney vacation at Epcot. Apparently the area is currently being used as a convention space, and “may open at a later date” which is Disney code for “we are going to keep your hope of seeing this attraction again alive for another five to ten years before we crush you and announce that we’re closing it down for good.”
Dialogue
B
on a Monday
at 5:26 pm
Shannon, I love your series of nostalgic blog posts! I remember this ride and I loved it. On a semi-related note, one time I was at Disneyland and I asked a worker where the Carousel of Progress ride was. He pointed and said, “The airport is that way. You’ll need to get on a plane and fly to Disney World.” Pfft.
Rachel
on a Monday
at 11:09 pm
Remember “Figment,” the little purple dragon? I loved him. I picked Epcot, too. Grandma let me drink so many sodas that I developed a bladder infection AT THE PARK. I received a shot in the butt from a nurse with mouse ears (true story.)
Cameron
on a Tuesday
at 1:42 pm
Both of you got to go to Epcot? No fair. On my one trip to Disney (I was 6-ish) we went to MGM and Magic Kingdom.
I vividly remember Body Wars from the pamphlet, but was suspicious that it might be educational, as I went to a lot of medical conferences as a child and oftentimes would encounter booths that looked cool from a distance but turned out just to be a pharmaceutical rep shilling heart medicine.
Shannon
on a Tuesday
at 3:34 pm
Haha I love how both of you have bizarre stories about the happiest place on Earth.
I think there’s a secret society of grandparents who lure their grandchildren into Epcot…now there’s a thought.